ShareThisBy JEWEL KATS and DAVE SILVERBERG
Young People's Press
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Dear Jewel,
My mom knows I keep a diary, and I'm afraid she will try and read it.
I keep it with me most of the time because I'm nervous about leaving it around where she will be tempted to pick it up. It's not that there is anything outrageous in it. It's just that it has a lot of my private thoughts I'm not ready to share.
I start high school in the fall and I bet she'd really like to know what's going on by reading my diary. I love my mom, but I don't want her reading what I write.
Sometimes she asks me what I put in it, so I know she's dying to know. How do I keep her from butting in?
-- COMPULSIVE WRITER
Dear C.W.,
We humans have been using the diary medium to understand ourselves and our surroundings for centuries. The fact that you've gotten into the habit of recording your thoughts is healthy indeed. This method of healing was introduced to psychotherapy in the 1960s by the late Ira Progoff. Opening yourself up -- even on paper -- is known to have tremendous psychological benefits.
Don't let fear of your mother reading your diary keep you from partaking in this character-building habit. However, I must point out that your apprehensions aren't riding on much fact, but rather unsubstantiated probabilities. Her asking what you're penning away doesn't necessarily mean she'll sift through your sock drawers looking for your beacon of recorded treasure. So quit pointing your finger.
Keep in mind that lugging your diary around everywhere doesn't guarantee discretion, but rather puts your entries at greater risk of being read by someone. Be mindful of this the next time you venture out with it.
Overall, it's in your best interest to speak to your mom about this. Openly explain how important it is for you to retain your privacy. Say why you enjoy recording your thoughts. Ask about her diary-writing experiences.
You may also want to use this opportunity to take your bonding one step further. If you're up to it, offer to include her in your diary-writing endeavors through a separate mother-daughter journal that you both can read and record in. Keep the diary in a mutually accessible area with plenty of working pens on hand. Write about whatever you're willing to share.
Make it your mission to connect and have fun along the way!
You can do this.
Love, Jewel
Dear Dave,
Summer is coming and my parents want to send me to camp again. I don't want to go.
I told them that, and they said as summer rolls around, I will want to. I know I won't. Camp was fun when I was a kid, but now I'd rather stay home with my friends. I'm 14 and should have some say in this, shouldn't I?
-- CAMPED OUT
Dear CAMPED OUT,
I'm with you on this one -- you've grown out of camp and you want to hang with your friends in the summer. Perfectly natural. Camp is been-there-done-that to you, so you want to experience other things. Now the tough part is convincing your parents you're better off staying in town.
Let them know that you'll be independent during the summer, and you won't need them for every little thing. This is a good chance to show your maturity.
But if they force you to go to camp, try to have fun and make the best of it. If you're miserable in a place that promotes fun and activities, you'll only ruin a beautiful summer. Instead, promise yourself that you'll try extra hard to convince your parents of your decision to stay in town next summer.
Good luck!
(Got a hot question for our cool columnists? E-mail Jewel or Dave at writeus(at)ypp.net or check them out on-line at http://www.ypp.net.)
(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service, http://www.scrippsnews.net)
