ShareThisBy MAX MESSMER
Scripps Howard News Service
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
"WORK HISTORY: My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate."
At least your employer didn't put the squeeze on you.
The example above is the first sentence of a lengthy and fictional work history offered by an accounting applicant who is a bit too clever for his own good. Instead of leading with his real work history -- which he unwisely buried at the bottom of his resume -- the job candidate presented a farcical account of his professional experience. Here is the rest of his attempt at creative writing:
"WORK HISTORY: I also worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe. Next, I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting. I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but it was too draining. My last job was working in a coffee shop, but I quit because it was always the same old grind."
This resume underscores three important points.
First, always be truthful and straightforward in your job-application materials. Even if you intend for a statement to be taken as a joke, a hiring manager may not understand or appreciate your satire.
Second, be succinct. Hiring managers simply don't have time to wade through longwinded resumes.
Third, be careful when using humor, which doesn't always translate through writing.
Here is another candidate who tried too hard to be witty:
"HONORS: Recipient of Time magazine's 2006 Person of the Year Award."
When Time named "You" the honoree, the magazine meant everyone on Earth.
Finally, don't include irrelevant information in your resume -- especially if you're sharing the following detail:
"ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: My humor has caused people to snort milk out the nose."
Keep the Resumania coming. Examples can be sent to Resumania, c/o Robert Half International Inc., 2884 Sand Hill Road, Suite 200, Menlo Park, Calif., or faxed to 650-234-6998.
(Max Messmer is chairman and CEO of Robert Half International Inc., a specialized staffing firm, and author of "Managing Your Career For Dummies" and "Job Hunting For Dummies." For more Resumania, please visit www.resumania.com.)
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