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Flowers, breakfast in bed, brunch at a crowded, overpriced restaurant. Has your mother pretended to love these things on Mother's Day every single year of your life? Of course she has, because she's your mom. Enough already. Try this novel idea: put a little thought into your gift! (No reason she has to know that these are my thoughts and not yours.)

I have walked the online world so you wouldn't have to, and here are my hand-picked best-in-class Mother's Day gifts sure to delight all kinds of moms 'til Christmas.

FUNNY MOM: Most mothers I know (including my own) have a little something to get off their chest. Message tees with an attitude will put something back on her chest. Mom-centric messages include "Nanny Deprived", "PTA Reject", "Secretary of Transportation", "Mother Superior", and my favorite, "Whine? No. Wine? Yes." planetmomtshirts.com

FUN WITH KNIVES MOM: Boring old butcher blocks have nothing on this knife set in the shape of a man's body. Any mom with a wicked sense of humor will enjoy putting her shiny stainless steels through this guy. Spice up her kitchen and make the point that Mom is not to be messed with. perpetualkid.com

FAMISHED MOM: What says "I love you, Mom" better than live crustaceans delivered to her door? If you can't be there to take her to a delicious lobster dinner, send the lobster to her. These guys are some of Oprah's Favorite Things, and they're perfect for procrastinating gift-givers since they must be shipped no sooner than 24 hours in advance. livelob.com

FAST MOM, FANCY MOM: Mom not the bootie-knitting type? Put her behind the wheel of a Nextel stock car, or splurge on a shopping spree at Saks Fifth Avenue with her own personal shopper. To really show the love, have a professional songwriter compose a custom song especially for her. Yes, these gifts cost a pretty penny, but think of the "aaaawwww!" factor. xperiencedays.com

Imagine Mom thanking you this year: no acting required.

Helen Malani is the chief shopping expert for Shopzilla.com, an E.W. Scripps company, and the largest comparison shopping search engine on the Web. For more columns visit www.scrippsnews.com

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