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For one thing, it would drive headline writers batty. Mainly, though, it's just not dignified enough to go on a commemorative mint-julep glass with Barbaro, Secretariat and all the other previous winners.

Judging from the wild array of thoroughbred appellations, you'd think anything goes when picking a name. That, however, is not the case.

While the 2007 Derby winner will be determined here on Saturday, his name was determined down the road in Lexington at The Jockey Club.

The Jockey Club is the Library of Congress for horse racing. In a sport where pedigree is everything, breedings, births and names are meticulously registered.

Let's say you have an unnamed yearling you want to race. You can choose a name as convoluted and nonsensical as you like _ but it has to pass muster at The Jockey Club.

"About two-thirds of all name applications are accepted," said TJC spokesman John Cooney, "and a third are rejected.

"We generally check about 65,000 names annually. In 2006, we accepted 44,000, and that includes new names, name changes and reservations."

Reservations? Turns out you can reserve a name for the future.

One reason thoroughbred names are so unusual is that they have to be. At any time, there are roughly 450,000 active names in use, Cooney said. So if you've got horse No. 449,994, you had better come up with something original.

You can't use Secretariat. His name, like all Derby winners and other horses of distinction, is permanently retired. But there is Secretariats Ghost and 25 other active names that include Secretariat in some form.

A less-distinguished horse's name may be recycled in time. American Eagle finished eighth in the 1918 Kentucky Derby. Another American Eagle staggered home 16th in 1944.

Name submissions to The Jockey Club are limited to 18 characters, including spaces. That explains the run-on abominations like this year's Imawildandcrazyguy.

They must pass two tests.

The first is a computer phonetics check to screen out names sounding too similar to others in active use. By far, that's the reason for most rejections.

The second check is human, to rule out names that are vulgar or otherwise controversial.

"Most owners take the responsibility for naming their horse very seriously," Cooney said, "and invest a lot of their own time."

Bloodlines are a common theme. Three of this year's Derby hopefuls _ Storm in May, Stormello and Cowtown Cat _ are grandsons of the popular sire Storm Cat.

Street Sense, one of Saturday's favorites, is the son of Street Cry.

Others in this year's field are more whimsical.

Curlin's namesake was a Kentucky slave who fought in the Civil War. Sam P. is named for a daredevil pilot of the 1930s.

Scat Daddy is owned by James Scatuorchio.

Wood Memorial Stakes winner Nobiz Like Showbiz is owned by the widow of a publisher of Broadway plays.

Tiago is named for the son of Brazilian jazz great Sergio Mendes. He's a half-brother to 2005 Derby winner Giacomo, who was named for the son of rock singer Sting. The owner, in both cases, is music-industry magnet Jerry Moss.

Circular Quay's name comes from a popular area in Sydney Harbor in Australia.

Dominican, the surprise winner of the Blue Grass Stakes, has never been to the Caribbean. His name comes from the order of nuns who run a school in the owner's hometown.

Zangero's name translates to "water master" in Spanish. Presumably, he would fare well on a muddy track.

(Contact Mike Strange of The Knoxville News Sentinel in Tennessee at www.knoxnews.com.)

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