ShareThisBy SCOTT OSLTER
San Francisco Chronicle
Friday, May 04, 2007
Wave high your foam "We're No. 8" fingers, Golden State Warriors fans.
You're riding a miracle.
All of the Bay Area and half of Hollywood turned out Thursday night at Oracle Arena to watch the final installment of that blockbuster hit, "Honey, I Shrunk the Mavericks."
And this is only the beginning.
The Warriors blew Dallas out of the gym and the series with a 111-86 win, and don't bother looking for a more thrillingly improbable moment in Bay Area sports. This was it.
Yes, the Mavericks were literally 86'd.
When it was over, how did the Warriors react? In the locker room, Jason Richardson and Mickael Pietrus hugged and giggled. Giggled. Grown men.
Who's the hero?
Could be Baron Davis, playing with one hamstring tied behind his back, fluid on his knee, and still leading the show.
Could be Stephen Jackson, who shot the lights out, you'll excuse the expression, 7-for-7 from the three-point arc before he missed. Thirty-three points for the guy the Pacers gift-wrapped to the Warriors half a season ago and who almost blew himself out of the series with his temper.
"Baron told me midway in the second quarter he wasn't feeling as good as he was previous games," Jackson said. "He wanted me to carry us."
Done. Best fill-in leader since Rudolph the Reindeer.
The hero could even be Matt Barnes, who ignited the Warriors' eye-popping 26-3 third-quarter run with this play:
Trying a desperation save of a ball going out of bounds on the Mavericks' baseline, Barnes leaped, grabbed the ball and fired a fastball off the head and neck of Jason Terry. It was a desperate, absolutely vicious and clean play, and the Warriors got the ball. Andres Biedrins scored inside to give the Warriors a four-point lead that soon became 23.
The Mavericks are still ducking in fear.
Barnes book-ended the run by thunder dunking on Dirk Nowitzki, whoever he is.
Or the hero could be Don Nelson, who wrote this unbelievably corny screenplay.
Good coach, lousy liar.
Nelson has been saying all along that the Warriors aren't as good as the Mavericks.
He'll be saying the same thing soon about either the Jazz or the Rockets, up next on the Warriors' hit list. Who are you going to believe _ Nellie or your eyes?
If Nelson says any team is better than the Warriors right now, he's talking right out of his armpit. The Jazz and the Rockets were both rooting for the Mavericks on Thursday night, because nobody in the NBA wants a piece of this team right now.
The Golden State Warriors are out of control.
Nobody has any idea of how to stop them. The fact that they are a seven-man rotation, with two of the seven nursing bad hamstrings and more seems to only intensify the mystery.
Nelson has also been saying that whatever slim chance the Warriors have in any given game is only valid if Davis stays healthy.
"Boom Dizzle,'' who is the swizzle that that stirs the Warriors' sizzle, had his hammie fizzle Thursday night in the first half. Alternately limping and flying the rest of the night, he finished with 20 points and 10 rebounds.
Trust me, this is no time to start believing anything Nellie says.
Nelson is trying to downplay the fact that he's coaching America's Team _ a bunch of rejects and castoffs playing incredible warp-speed, we-are-family hoops. They're playing dream-team ball and they give off a whiff of danger.
And they're enjoying this even more than the fans are, if that's possible.
Now opponents not only worry about being posterized by Barnes, but they worry about being spun like tops by the Warriors fast break, and pick-pocketed by the Warriors' bumblebee defense.
The Jazz and Rockets are phoning Charles Barkley right now, begging him to keep his mouth shut.
What the heck, if you haven't already, jump on the bandwagon.
Paste on your chin a Baron Davis beard that looks like a locomotive cowcatcher.
Spike your hair like Biedrins. Or go Mohawk like Barnes, and let the tattoos creep up your neck.
Give the world your best Stephen Jackson 3-T scowl, or the Monta Ellis high-school-yearbook smile, and state your affection for your teammates with a Pietrus French accent, coolest of its type since Maurice Chavalier.
Then light up a stogie like Nellie and ice down the scotch, and yell at the kids for being boneheads and fine 'em while you're hugging 'em and telling 'em you love 'em and are proud of 'em.
No wonder the Warriors are capturing the national imagination, and a posse/entourage that includes Snoop Dogg, Carlos Santana and Owen Wilson.
The Warriors are desperadoes playing like they're carefree and have nothing to lose. Which is it? Who knows? If it was easy to win as the No. 8 seed because of no pressure, more teams would do it.
Have the Warriors exceeded expectations? As Yogi Berra once said, "They've done more than that."
"They're a hot team right now," Mavs' coach Avery Johnson said. "They can kind of put you in a bind with their small lineup."
Who knew that in basketball, tall is bad?
Jump on that bandwagon fast, because it's running on fumes and a rubber-band motor, it's held together by Ace bandages, and it's coming to a gym near you, giggling and roaring and completely out of control.
(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service, www.scrippsnews.com.)
Terars of Joy
Thank you, Scott, for writing an article that brought tears to my eyes
because it was so beautifully written. You captured the exhilaration of this Warriors' team, and Nellie's sly fox act, and the magic bond between the team and its fans, all in a fast-paced, excitingly written
column. I am so proud to be from the Bay Area, and to have been a Warriors fan since I was a kid in the '70s. I remember the '74-'75 Championship team, led by Rick Barry. I hope and pray that Baron and Company can get it done all the way, just like that great team, also of castoffs and renegades, did. It is truly Oakland, be it the A's, Raiders or Warriors, to have another team made up of such characters.