ShareThisBy TIM GOODMAN
Monday, November 06, 2006
Everything we know we learned from television:
_ So they killed Mr. Eko off of "Lost" when it might have been a better idea to, say, kill some of the writers. He was a great character and he'll be missed. Frustrated over his departure from the show, we channeled our rage into a list of other, better, characters to kill from the series. You can find the rant and the list on our blog, www.thebastardmachine.com.
_ It appears that technology and celebrity worship are colliding to make it very, very hard to be secretly gay in Hollywood. The explosion of celebrity-obsessed Web sites and blogs that track the dining, drinking, dancing and whatever other activities of stars seems to be forcing the issue of late. Recently, "Grey's Anatomy" star T.R. Knight was forced to reveal, probably before he wanted to, that he was gay. Same thing happened last week with Neil Patrick Harris, the former "Doogie Howser, M.D." star now the main attraction on CBS' sitcom, "How I Met Your Mother."
_ Look for NBC to announce soon that it will give "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" a full season order. Maybe with patience from NBC, people will worry less about the show's fate and simply watch. (And Aaron Sorkin will make the sketches funnier, or cut them entirely.)
_ It has been interesting for the past two years how Jon Stewart and "The Daily Show" are both light years funnier than anyone on "Saturday Night Live" and any skit you could even remember as a comparison. This year, Stephen Colbert and "The Colbert Report" were added to that list of topical shows funnier and more relevant than "SNL." But even if you haven't consciously acknowledged the comedic shift, think about this: Politics is funnier than pop culture these days, and that truth is driving the aforementioned truism about "The Daily Show" versus "SNL." For some time now, "SNL" hasn't had anyone who could really nail politics, be it sketch form or on "Weekend Update."
How much more material do you need beyond the Rev. Ted Haggard, meth, gay massage and megachurches? The jokes write themselves. "SNL" has also been asleep at the laptop on the Iraq war issue, never establishing itself as the go-to place for war jokes.
_ Now that "Law & Order" has used Chevy Chase as a stand-in for Mel Gibson during its ripped-from-the-headlines take on Mel's drunken Jew bashing, how soon before we see the episode where the Rev. Haggard's confession that he bought meth but didn't use it and got a gay massage but never had sex is explored in dramatic detail?
_ The news on Brit imports was good this week, as Mitchell Hurwitz, who blessed the world with "Arrested Development" has agreed to executive produce a remake of the political satire "The Thick of It," while John Corbett has signed on to play one of the leads in the American remake of "Manchild" for Showtime.
_ Martha Stewart is peeved at Rachel Ray for putting her taped show featuring Barry Manilow on against Martha's live appearance of Manilow. Never mind that, well, it's Barry Manilow, for God's sake. The real issue here is that Ray better step off. You don't need much knowledge of the world to know that Martha could _ and will _ slap the snot out of Ray. You don't mess with a diva who's done time.
_ Jay Leno says he's been asked _ and declined _ to host the Oscars. That's the best news we've heard in weeks. Keep saying no, Jay. And if we can get Bruce Vilanch to take the same stand, the world will be a better place.
_ The CW is bringing "Reba" back on Nov. 19. Might be nice to say something scathing or funny here, but the overwhelming, harrowing depression of it all has taken the wind out of our sails.
_ Salma Hayek doing cameos on "Ugly Betty" isn't good enough. What we really need is a Salma Hayek reality show where she's followed by cameras all the time, speaking Spanish and not wearing very much clothing. What? That's not a brilliant idea?
_ The most notable elements to the gay outings of Harris and Knight are this: In Harris' case, the appropriate response is, "So. It doesn't make him any less funny. He's still the best thing on the show." And in Knight's case, it's this: "So. It doesn't make him any better looking. He's on the show?"
_ That is sooooooo wrong. But you made us do it. You wanted us to say it.
_ Bring me the head of Reba.
_ The Absurd Haiku: "Rachel in the mud/ Martha takes her down again/ A boy can dream, no?"
(E-mail Tim Goodman at tgoodman(at)sfchronicle.com)
