Yount: Monogamy might have chemical roots

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Human beings are among the scant 3 percent of all mammalian species that form monogamous relationships. Because the human brain is similar to that of another faithful species, the prairie vole, scientists have been investigating these mouse-like critters in an attempt to determine why humans are attracted to lifelong marital bonds.

According to The Economist, initial mating between vole couples demands a 24-hour effort, after which they bond for life: "They prefer to spend time with each other, groom each other for hours on end and nest together. They avoid meeting other potential mates. The male becomes an aggressive guard of the female. And when their pups are born, they become affectionate and attentive parents."

Oddly, these prairie voles have a close relative, the montane vole, which shares 99 percent of their genes but is promiscuous, addicted to one-night stands and lacks any interest in permanent partnerships. Based on vole studies, scientists speculate that the human predisposition to monogamy may come down to chemistry.

Helen Fisher, a researcher at Rutgers University, believes it might be possible to inhibit unrequited love in its early stages by drugs similar to Prozac. Still, once romantic love takes hold, Fisher acknowledges, it is like a locomotive. No mere chemical is likely to stop it.

As you might imagine, scientists are toying with the notion that, if chemicals can help a person get over unrequited passion, then other chemicals might help people fall in love or patch up their fragile marriages. From ancient times, herbalists have sought to concoct love potions. Now it is the scientists who are contemplating playing Cupid.

Until Cupid prevails, author-columnist Marilyn Vos Savant advises that marriage will take continual mutual effort by couples themselves, working together toward the twin goals of overcoming one's personal weaknesses while allowing one's spouse to have them. "People," she writes, "are far from perfect -- even the person you marry -- and if you don't learn this before the wedding, both of you surely will discover it shortly afterward."

On a recent Valentine's Day, the English columnist Minette Marrin expressed her concern that "our obsession with romantic love is directly responsible for our disastrous divorce rates, and all the troubles that follow. It is an obsession that is almost pathological, and certainly unhealthy for society as a whole.... The terrible problem with romantic love is that it doesn't last. While it does, there is no greater pleasure, as far as I know. It's a kind of delicious madness."

Well, if prairie voles can be faithful for a lifetime to their mates and their children, so can men and women. The "delicious madness" of romance to which Marrin refers can turn into something calmer and deeper -- respect, affection, comradeship and sheer delight in each other's company. It just needs time to mature.

(David Yount's latest book is "Making a Success of Marriage: Planning for Happily Ever After" (Rowman & Littlefield), He answers readers at P.O. Box 2758, Woodbridge, VA 22195 and dyount31(at)verizon.net.)

AMAZING GRACE