Typing test

On the way back from the women’s downhill Wednesday, I checked out the local library — or biblioteca.

I asked the librarian if I could access the Internet there. He asked me if I spoke Francais.

This wasn’t getting off to a good start.

I pointed to my laptop, hoping to use the wireless connection. Ah! Yes! He smiled and handed me a CD with some new software to install.

Ah! No! When you’re 4,700 miles away from home, and your livelihood depends on a functioning laptop, installing new software is like skiing the downhill course without a helmet.

I looked around and saw six desktop computers along a wall. Could I access the Internet with those?

Ah! Yes! 30 minutes for 1 Euro.

That sounded like a bargain to me - until I sat down at the keyboard.

Something clearly wasn’t right. The keys were all mixed up. There was no shift key. The backslash was nowhere to be found, and where the heck was the @ key so I could access my e-mail?

Finally I found it — next to the L, and sharing space with two other strange symbols. I hit the key, and some indecipherable squiggle appeared.

Clearly this was going to take awhile.

I noticed an upward arrow where the shift key should be. Maybe if I hold it down and hit the @ key? Fat chance.

How about the Control button and the @ key? Zilch.

The Alt button and the @ key? Nada.

I scanned the keyboard, and settled on a key called Alt Gr, next to the space bar. I had nothing to lose. Click. Miracle of miracles - the @ appeared!

With that discovery I pulled up my e-mail. Sadly, the only message I had received was from a buddy telling me that my regular Wednesday night basketball game back home had been cancelled because there weren't enough guys available to play.

What a bummer. I would have written back to say, “I’m sorry.”? But I couldn’t find the apostrophe.