The entire point of remakes is that there are no good ideas on television anymore. No, wait, scratch that. The entire point is that by feeding you something you might be familiar with -- and perhaps liked the first time around or in reruns -- it'll be that much easier to sell it to you again without all the explaining.
So, do you need "Hawaii Five-O" explained? Not the one from some years back with Jack Lord. The one from 2010 with, um, Alex O'Loughlin as McGarrett, and premiering Monday at 10 p.m. EDT. Sure you do, so here's what CBS says in an almost believable way:
"'Hawaii Five-O' is a contemporary take on the classic series about a new elite federalized task force whose mission is to wipe out the crime that washes up on the islands' sun-drenched beaches. Detective Steve McGarrett, a decorated naval officer-turned-cop, returns to Oahu to investigate his father's murder and stays after Hawaii's governor persuades him to head up the new team: his rules, her backing, no red tape and full-blanket authority to hunt down the biggest 'game' in town."
OK, if you just threw up in your mouth a little bit, don't worry. It's not that bad. In fact, it's almost impossible to mess up a series shot on location in Hawaii and featuring Grace Park in a bikini. You would have to make it turn it into a sci-fi comedy to really mangle it. Although the first 15 minutes may have you thinking they've overdone it on the action steroids, the show calms down after that. You'll get Scott Caan as Danny "Danno" Williams and Daniel Dae Kim as Chin Ho Kelly. Park plays Kono Kalakaua. There appears to be no Wo Fat of yet, which almost kills it, but perhaps he'll surface later.
"Hawaii Five-O" is nothing but entertainment. It's eye candy. Waves, sun, island culture. A bad guy surfaces, McGarrett goes to work. Danno books him. End of story. Sometimes there are gun battles. Fists fly. That's all there is, folks. It's not rocket science. True, watching the original is more fun. And more cheesy. But waves are waves. Hawaii is still pretty. And if you're looking for anything deeper than that, you've landed on the wrong island. "Lost" is over. Let your mind take a break.
(E-mail Tim Goodman at tgoodman(at)sfchronicle.com.)
(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service, www.scrippsnews.com.)
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