ShareThisQ: I was stuck in an airport last week due to the winter storms on the East Coast, and I witnessed some of the most appalling behavior I've ever seen. People were screaming obscenities at the gate agents because their flights were canceled. Can you please remind people that no matter what's going on with their flight, they still need to be civil to the gate agents?
A: I've heard several stories like yours this week, and all I can say is, come on, people. It's the holidays, for crying out loud. Do the gate agents control the weather? Breaking news: NO. And they aren't responsible for the decision to cancel your flight -- they're just the poor souls stuck breaking the bad news to you. Do you also send hate mail to ESPN when they report your favorite team lost? Because that makes about as much sense as getting mad at the gate agents about bad weather.
Now, I'm not trying to convince anyone to do a dance of joy upon hearing they'll be stuck in the Philly airport for the next 16 hours -- a canceled flight is a perfectly legitimate reason to be upset. (Especially if you're stuck in PHL. My condolences.) But you should complain about it in a snarky Facebook status update or treat yourself to some Ben & Jerry's at the airport food court rather than berate the gate agents, who are, after all, just doing their job.
Q: Is it okay to complain about the quality of the free breakfast you get in a budget hotel?
A: Sure, as long as you have realistic expectations. You can't knock a one-star motel for not offering homemade organic granola and fluffy, made-to-order omelets. However, if that motel has boxes of cereal that expired in 2006 and there are dead flies in the scrambled eggs, you should absolutely call them on it.
Q: Recently you tackled the subject of people who let their kids watch movies on planes without headphones. But what about adults who watch R-rated DVDs on planes? Maybe they're not inflicting the sound upon everyone, but it's still potentially offensive. I was flying with my 4-year-old, and the guy next to me was watching "Dexter" on his laptop. I like that show, but it was all I could do to keep her eyes off it!
A: What, you don't want your 4-year-old watching a vigilante serial killer chop people up and dump them off the coast of Miami? Just kidding. I'm with you -- it's a great show, but unless you're watching it on a tiny screen you're sure no one else can see, it's not the right thing to watch on a plane. Giving other people's kids nightmares is rude.
E-mail travel-etiquette questions to Lesley Carlin at deartripadvisor(at)tripadvisor.com.
(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service, http://www.scrippsnews.com)
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R-rated movies
While I understand the issue of a 4 year old sitting next to grown-up who is also TRAPPED on what could have been a 4-5-6 hour flight without a movie overhead, I disagree with your advise. Why does the adult have to watch something that a 4 year old would like? 1) There is a big difference between X-Rated and R-Rated, especially without sound. 2) Ask the person with the computer to shift his screen 10 degrees and the screen should be distorted so the 4 year old should not be able to adequately comprehend what he is watching. 3) The parent should change his/her seat with the child -- I'm sure the adult didn't like it if the 4 year old was climbing over the seat rest to view the movie. 4) Why didn't the parent bring toys or a portable DVD player for the 4 year old to watch?
When in a plane -- EVERYONE is responsible for his/her own happiness. Don't make a stranger plan a head for the potential that you're going to sit your child next to him/her.
4 year-olds and violent material in flight
We need to understand that a 4 year-old has no capacity to distinguish between "make believe" and "real." The images, even without sound, could be enough to disrupt the child's emotional development. I agree with the above remedies suggested even if it means not being "nice" to a stranger.
When should we try to be polite and understanding if it is potentially harmful to our children? Never. Would you tolerate a person blowing smoke into your child's face, or offering your child alcohol? I hope not. The parent in this scenario has every right to protect the well-being of his/her child, be it through asking the person next to them to remove the offending video, or changing seats, or some of the other suggested remedies. Our rights end at the neighbor's nose, the law says. Whatever it takes, we cannot allow the behavior of others to impact our children in unhealthy ways. But, we don't have to be nasty either, just reasonable.
Children have been likened to a sponge. Whatever is near them, the soak up. Our job as adults is to oversee what comes into their experience until they have developed sufficient coping mechanisms. Please speak out any time you feel your child is being compromised.
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