ShareThisFocus only on the topic at hand. Dredging up a bunch of old issues -- called "kitchen sinking" by therapists -- fuels anger.
Don't bring in third parties. Saying "My mom agrees with me" isn't going to help win the argument. In the same vein, don't make comparisons between your mate and someone else.
Avoid using "you always" and "you never." Exaggerations hurt feelings and open the door for your spouse to focus on the misstatement and ignore the point you're trying to make.
Treat your partner with respect. When you're speaking, don't yell, belittle or taunt. When you're listening, don't roll your eyes, grimace or smirk.
If you owe your spouse an apology, make it. It shows that you consider the relationship more important than what you're fighting about.
(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service, www.scrippsnews.com.)
Editors: This story is for print use only. Must credit Minneapolis Star TribuneSidebar to GOODFIGHTS
