Star Search

One of the only fates worse than never being able to hit the big time is becoming famous then being cast aside as a nobody. And what's worse than that is having your lack of fame rubbed in by journalists with smarmy writeups. Oh well. If any of these folks are sleeping on your couch or pumping your gas, print up this article to help them out.

1. Leelee Sobieski

Good Times: 2001 was the year of the Leelee. The then 19-year-old busted out in a big way, hitting with an indie comedy ("My First Mister") and two high-profile thrillers, "The Glass House" and "Joy Ride."

Since Then: Not a single wide-release theatrical feature film. A couple guest-starring voice gigs on "Frasier," a show everyone's already forgotten.

Unsolicited Advice: Catch on with a brilliant writer/director who sees your talent and boosts you back to prominence. Oh, wait, she's one step ahead of me. She'll star with Nicolas Cage in Neil LaBute's remake of "The Wicker Man," due out later this year. Failing that, star in a franchise sequel, "My Second Mister."

2. Ben Savage

Good Times: Starred in the coming-of-age sitcom "Boy Meets World" from 1993-2000.

Since Then: Uh, not much. Possibly hanging out with older brother Fred in home for wayward former TV stars.

Unsolicited Advice: Accept only alcoholic roles from here on out to prove acting ability. If none are available, team with Fred for time-travel TV crossover in which the Boy Meets World Guy visits the 1980s to meet early-30s Kevin Arnold.

3. Shannon Elizabeth

Good Times: Broke out with "American Pie" in 1999, parlayed the fame as naked girl into four starring roles in 2001: "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back," "Thirteen Ghosts," "American Pie 2" and "Tomcats."

Since Then: Turned 32, showed up for a few episodes of "That '70s Show."

Unsolicited Advice: Host a reality show, preferably something involving physical injury to contestants. Viewers love themselves the violence.