"Snowin' in the Wind?"
"Sleigh Lady Sleigh?"
"The Times They Are A-Jinglin'?"
On Oct. 13, none other than Bob Dylan, the mercurial rock poet, will release a holiday album, "Christmas in the Heart."
Yeah, I know, bizarro. The first Christmas-album announcement of the year is always wild. But considering the artist, it's doubly strange this year.
Details are skimpy, but the 68-year-old will warble such standards as "Here Comes Santa Claus," "O Little Town of Bethlehem" and "Winter Wonderland." Oh, and "Must Be Santa," which is going to be INSANE! All proceeds will benefit the hunger-relief charity Feeding America.
I'm a Christmas-music junkie, with hundreds of albums of mistletoe music at home. Dylan's entry in the canon should be a welcome hoot, but it won't be the oddest yuletide disc I own. Here are a few of my fave freaky head-turners come Santa season.
"A Twisted Christmas," Twisted Sister (Razor & Tie, 2006)
"On my heavy-metal Christmas, my true love gave to me ... a tattoo of Ozzy!" 'Nuff said, headbangers.
"Christmas Is 4 Ever," Bootsy Collins (Shout Factory, 2006)
The funk pioneer with the outtasight duds invites Snoop Dogg over for some Happy Holidaze. Sounds like D-O-Double-G came bearing gifts ... but it wasn't fruitcake, yo.
"Hell's Bells of Christmas: The Holiday Tribute to AC/DC," Santa Claws and the Naughty but Nice Orchestra (Christmas Rock, 2007)
Ah yes, rejoice to the churchly bells of winter ... as they knock out "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap." Best to play this one after the rum balls are gone.
"Merry Christmas ... Have a Nice Life!," Cyndi Lauper (Sony, 1998)
Girls just wanna have fun -- except on Dec. 25, when they're surly and ticked off and want to scratch boys' eyes out.
(Sean Daly is the pop-music critic of the St. Petersburg Times and can be reached at sdaly(at)sptimes.com.)
(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service www.scrippsnews.com)
Must credit the St. Petersburg Times
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