COVER LETTER: "Yup! I was the girl behind the candy counter, boxing and selling those wonderful chocolates that everyone adores so much."
Can we get free samples?
It's true that employers seek professionals who are passionate about their work. This candidate did a nice job of demonstrating her joy for her job, but her overly casual tone could turn off some hiring managers.
As you prepare your application materials, keep in mind that they are business documents. The language you use should always remain professional. Here are two additional examples from the previous job seeker's cover letter that are too chatty:
COVER LETTER: "What I loved about this job: It was chocolate! What's not to love?!"
She must have been paid in M&Ms.
COVER LETTER: "What I loathed about this job: Well, let's face it, when you sell it, you buy it. I had to go up a pants size."
Proof that you can have too much of a good thing.
As you write your resume and cover letter, review the documents with a critical eye and eliminate or reword statements that would be better suited for e-mail to a close friend.
COVER LETTER: "My coworkers joked that I got paid in hugs."
You should have negotiated a better deal.
COVER LETTER: "Are you looking for a person who is willing to learn everything there is to know about this job? If the answer is yes, then we should speak."
We'd prefer to see your qualifications first.
"DUTIES: Games associate. Being energetic, loud and FUN!!!!"
Why change jobs?
Highlighting notable awards you've received helps to distinguish you from other job candidates. But focus on honors that are professional and relevant. The following examples were just too silly to be taken seriously by employers:
"AWARDS: Recognized for best headwear at the office Christmas party."
Did you don reindeer antlers or a Santa hat?
"AWARDS: Best costume, Halloween party, 2004."
Unfortunately, this won't help you scare up a job offer.
For more Resumania, and to submit samples you've come across, visit www.resumania.com. Keep the Resumania coming. Examples can be sent to Resumania, c/o Robert Half International, 2884 Sand Hill Road, Suite 200, Menlo Park, Calif., 94025, or faxed to 650-234-6998.
(Max Messmer is chairman and CEO of Robert Half International, a specialized staffing firm, and author of "Managing Your Career For Dummies" and "Job Hunting For Dummies," 2nd Edition. His most recent book is "Human Resources Kit For Dummies," 2nd Edition.)
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RESUMANIA
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