In Praise of the DS

From the age of 8 I decided that if I were ever able to catch a leprechaun, genie or any other magical being capable of granting me three wishes, the first wish would be for infinite wishes, rendering the wishcap obsolete. Well, I've caught my leprechaun, and it answers to the name Nintendo DS. It grants me infinite wishes, with a catch - it only handles the same wish over and over again.

That one wish is that boredom and angst would go away whenever I'm in a situation in which I'm at the mercy of someone else's slowness. I've never had patience, and thankfully I don't need it anymore thanks to my little electronic buddy, who's commandeered my entire left pocket, forcing my keys, wallet and cell phone to cluster in my right pocket as the DS fills its place of honor. Whenever called upon, it leaps forth to do battle with any enemy of tedium that might confront me.

Pinned in the dentist's waiting room 20 minutes past the set appointment time? Might as well plug away at "Tetris" for a while. Stuck in traffic? Film screening not starting on time? "Metroid Prime Hunters" has plenty of aliens for me to blast to pass the time. Stuck in traffic? Maybe I can help Joan of Arc conquer a few more territories in "Age of Empires: The Age of Kings." Stuck at a boring funeral? Did someone say "Mario Kart?" Just kidding about that last one, sorta...

The DS is the magic bullet that makes me look forward to situations others might dread. And although there have been other handheld systems in my life, none has captivated my attention as much as this one. The Game Boy SP may be more compact, and the Sony PSP more powerful, but it's the DS that always gets the call from the bullpen when it comes time to venture out into the world. The machine is a sublime combination of graphical prowess mixed with rapidfire loading times and easy games that boost my self-esteem.

Never mind that the DS is so bulky, it weighs against my leg like a brick as I try to go about my day. Did Braveheart complain about the burdensome sword weighing down his sheath? I think not. The DS's one flaw will be rectified with the trimmer DS Lite, rumored to hit North American stores in a month, but if I opt for the sleeker model, it will be tough to say goodbye to the elder DS, which has comforted me through so much.