Graphic phobia

Against my better judgment, I turned on the TV set in our room again Thursday night.

This time I vowed to stay away from the Italian Liberace.

Instead I got Johnny Weir.

I've never understood the flamboyant nature of figure skating, but I was curious to see who would win the medals. So I gritted my teeth and tuned in for the final six skaters.

I didn’t find out who won until Friday morning.

Italian sports TV must be graphic phobic because they never put the final results on the screen.

I figured that Yevgeny Plushenko must have won, because they showed him receiving congratulations from his handlers. Those guys were a better show than the skaters. On Plushenko’s right was an exuberant, frizzy-haired dude wearing a “Russia”? sweater who looked like a cross between Rasputin and Richard Simmons. On his left was a stern-looking, older man in a formal suit, seemingly straight out of Cold War CCCP Casting Central.

Of course I had no clue who these gentlemen were since Italian TV didn’t provide a graphic to identify either one of them.

I’m trying to figure out why Italian sports TV producers are so graphic phobic. Are they as perplexed by the Italian keyboard as me? Are they tired of having to insert the “Pubblicita”? graphic like they do for every commercial? Or are they subtly encouraging everyone to buy a newspaper the next day?

Hey, maybe this graphic phobia isn’t so bad, after all.