ShareThisWASHINGTON - Bleu Copas knows there are no guarantees.
He's 35 now, an age that could make it harder to restart his military career. He'd have to compete for one of the limited slots open to prior-service veterans. Plus, he's already got a job he loves.
But nearly six years after he was kicked out of the Army simply because he's gay, Copas is talking to military recruiters about possibly becoming a soldier again.
"I almost feel like I would be doing myself a disservice if I don't at least check into it," said Copas, who lives in Louisville, Tenn.
For Copas and thousands of other gay and lesbian soldiers discharged under the military's "don't ask don't tell" policy, re-enlistment is a real possibility -- as is the chance to serve their country openly and proudly -- now that the policy was formally repealed last week.
Copas, an Arab linguist in the Army's intelligence unit before he was outed by a string of anonymous emails and given an honorable discharge, sees the end of "don't ask don't tell" not only as liberation but also as the validation of a career that ended too soon.
"I took it pretty hard," he said of the day he was handed his discharge papers back in 2006. "I based so much of my identity on the fact that I was a soldier and serving my country. When that was taken away, I found it challenging to be motivated or find a purpose.
"There were times that I kind of subscribed or bought into the idea that my service meant less, that my service had been disqualified because of the way it ended. I know that isn't necessarily true. But it didn't feel like I accomplished the mission."
By the time "don't ask don't tell" was repealed last month, an estimated 14,000 service members had been discharged under the 18-year-old policy, according to the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, a nonprofit that provides assistance to gays and lesbians in the military.
"Don't ask don't tell" was enacted in 1993 as a compromise under then-President Bill Clinton, who had tried unsuccessfully to lift an outright ban on gay military service. Under the compromise, which Congress later passed into law, gays could serve as long they did not disclose their sexual orientation. Military officials, in turn, were barred from asking soldiers about their orientation.
After years of complaints that military commanders were violating the "don't ask" part of the policy and countless stories of soldiers with vital skills being drummed out of the service, Congress voted last December to lift the policy, pending a military review and certification that repeal would not affect unit cohesion and readiness. President Barack Obama signed the repeal into law, and the policy was formally lifted on Sept. 20.
Yet even with the policy now a relic of history, the fight for full equality is not over, Copas said.
Gay service members will no longer have to hide their sexual orientation. But because the federal government does not recognize same-sex marriage, their partners won't be eligible for the myriad of benefits available to heterosexual couples, such as health-care coverage, housing allowances, base family housing, relocation assistance and family separation allowances.
Copas' own military service began when he enlisted in the Army in the aftermath of the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001.
He learned Arabic, a critical language skill, at the military's Defense Language Institute. He rose to the rank of sergeant, was given a top-secret security clearance and was assigned to the 82nd Airborne Division at Fort Bragg, N.C.
But less than four years later, he was outed by the anonymous emails. When asked directly by one of his superiors if he was gay, Copas denied it at first. He complained that his rights were being violated under "don't ask don't tell," but a formal investigation was launched anyway. Eight months later, he was given an honorable discharge and eventually joined the fight to repeal the policy.
Whether or not he decides to re-enlist, Copas said he now sees that not only did he survive the hurt and shame of being discharged, he has come through it all as a stronger person.
"One of the main reasons I got into the military was to belong to something that mattered, to belong to a cause bigger than me," he said. "I'm proud of the work we've been able to do to help other Americans have more rights."
(Email reporter Michael Collins of Scripps Howard News Services at collinsm(at)shns.com.)
