Chad Ochocinco. Has a certain ring to it. Considerably more catchy than Chad (ho-hum) Johnson, don't you think?
There are innumerable Johnsons in the world, but only one Ochocinco. It's a name that's hard to forget.
Recognition is hard to come by when you play for the Cincinnati Bengals, even when you're one of the best wide receivers in the NFL. So it behooved the gridiron artist formerly known as Johnson to change his name to the instantly recognizable Ochocinco.
Clearly, the man is on to something.
So I'm thinking of changing my name, too.
Jim Numerouno. I like the way it sounds. Rolls trippingly off the tongue.
Ochocinco. Numerouno. Bueno.
Thursday night was my primo, in-person look at Tom Nombredouze under game conditions since the 2008 season opener.
Which also turned out to the season-ender for the quarterback also known as Tom Brady, who played longer against Cincinnati than he did all of 2008 when he was lost for the year with a knee injury early in the opener.
Tom Nombredouze made it through the entire first quarter against the Bengals, which was only half as much as he played in the preseason opener last week against the Eagles, when he played the entire first half.
While it was nice to see The Franchise back in action, it must be said that he was not in midseason form.
The final stats show he was 4-for-8, for 57 yards. What they do not show is that he failed to connect on what could have been touchdown tosses to Randy Moss and Wes Welker on the Pats' first possession.
And, oh, yeah, he also was sacked once.
After the Eagles game, Nombredouze opined that: "I wish somebody would just come and blast me. You get a little of that anxiousness out of the way. I'll have to wait until next week."
He should have been, as the old adage goes, careful what he wished for.
Because he was, indeed, blasted on the Pats' second possession by onrushing end Robert Geathers, who put a WWF body-slam on Gisele's Boy Toy.
Tommy Nombredouze bounced right back up, but perhaps it was the sight of his superstar QB being leveled that prompted coach Bill Belichick to rest The Franchise for the remainder of the evening.
Meaning that the remainder of the evening became a boring battle of backups, since the Bengals' starter, Carson Palmer, was already being held out of action because of a sprained ankle.
Yawn.
In terms of the outcome, these games are even less meaningful than a Brett Favre retirement announcement.
Who wins, who loses, really isn't important. It isn't even all that important how you play the game -- unless, of course, you're one of the guys battling for a roster spot.
For the likes of Ochocinco and Nombredouze, it's all about getting ready for when Real Football is played, three weeks from now. And, of course, staying healthy.
No further proof that these preseason games -- the NFL long ago stopped calling them what they really are: exhibition games -- are not approached with deadly seriousness came late in the second quarter.
After a 24-yard scoring pass from the well-traveled (and, obviously, not especially well-armed) J.T. O'Sullivan to Chris Henry that gave Cincinnati a 6-3 lead, who came off the sidelines to attempt the PAT?
None other than Ochocinco, who'd already caught three passes for 69 yards.
A soccer star as a kid, he sent the ball squarely through the uprights.
It wasn't as cool as when Doug Flutie drop-kicked an extra point against the Dolphins in 2005, but it was fun.
"'Esteban' Ochocinco is back," he exulted. "The most interesting footballer in the world. Everyone has to remember, I've always said that soccer is my number-one sport. I think Ronaldinho would be proud of me right now."
His leg warmed up, Ochocinco opened the second half by kicking off for the Bengals, sending a lower-than-ideal boot to the New England 10.
Hey, maybe he'll want to start calling himself Numerouno. But it'll cost him something. I've got the naming rights for that moniker now.
(Contact Jim Donaldson at jdonalds(at)projo.com.)
(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service, www.scrippsnews.com.)
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