This Baby Sputters

I'm staring aghast at the 84 percent positive rating for "Cars" on Rotten Tomatoes, wondering if the 21 critics falling all over themselves to blow Pixar saw the same movie I did.

I didn't laugh one time throughout the animated flick, which features Owen Wilson as a hotshot racecar who gets stranded in a hick town, where he learns to be a better person under the tutelage of a trailer trash tow truck (Larry the Cable Guy), a wise old beater (Paul Newman) and a perky love interest (Bonnie Hunt). The story is as cliche as they come, which I'm fine with, so long as the script brings the funny. That doesn't happen, though. You'll get better laughs by stepping into the lobby and taking a look at the ridiculous concession stand prices. This ride is a definite sleepwalk for Pixar, which finally ends its hot streak following a briliant run that started with the "Toy Story" movies and continued on through "Monsters Inc." "Finding Nemo" and "The Incredibles."

What disturbs me the most about this shenanigan is that there are no human characters around. The cars in the film have somehow killed us all off, and it's never explained how they get their oil changes and whatnot.

This one most definitely does not get the Philmguy seal of excellence. If you see yourself heading into the theater to see "cars," make a U-turn.