Ask Carley: A wedding-invite race

Q: My cousin just got engaged and is planning her wedding for the same month as mine. I'm worried that our family won't travel twice within a few weeks. Can I ask her to change her date?

A: As annoying as it is that she picked a date so close to yours, you can never ask any bride to change her wedding plans. The family members who want to be at both weddings will probably find a way to see you both get married.

The best thing you can do -- even if it's a little sneaky -- is send out your save-the-dates first. We could say this isn't a race, but we'd be lying. If guests hear from you first, cross your fingers that they'll make their travel arrangements before they hear about your cousin's plans.

(Carley Roney, co-founder and editor in chief of The Knot, the nation's leading wedding resource, advises millions of brides on modern wedding etiquette at www.theknot.com.)

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