ShareThisQ: I was the maid of honor in a friend's wedding, and now that I'm getting married, I think she expects to be mine, but she's not my first choice. Am I obligated?
A: Absolutely not! There are no requirements or rules of reciprocity when it comes to choosing a maid of honor. Sometimes the right person is a best friend or sister, and sometimes it's simply a close friend who will be able to handle the responsibility.
It should be easy to explain to your friend why you've chosen someone else while reassuring her that you value her friendship. Because of the time and expense involved, she may even be relieved to hear that she's off the hook. Assuming she's included in the bridal party, chances are she'll be fine with it.
(Carley Roney, co-founder and editor-in-chief of The Knot, the nation's leading wedding resource, advises millions of brides on modern wedding etiquette at www.theknot.com. Got more questions? Visit www.theknot.com/askcarley for 800-plus answers on all things wedding.)
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