Ask Carley: Inviting flower girl to adults-only reception

Q: We're having an adults-only reception, but we're having a flower girl at the ceremony. Should we invite her to the reception? And what age equals an adult anyway?

A: Guest issues are so sticky! That's why we have TheKnot.com/guests to help you out.

There's no set etiquette about whether you should invite young attendants to an adults-only reception, but if a child is in the wedding party, that obviously separates her or him from the children who aren't invited.

There also isn't any hard-and-fast rule about what age makes someone an adult when it comes to your wedding-guest list. The general cutoff is between 14 and 18. When you're drawing that line, consider anyone who will turn of-age between when you send out invitations and your wedding date.

Also consider siblings or cousins who are close in age. It wouldn't be fair to invite someone who's 18 but not her 16-year-old sister.

(Carley Roney, co-founder and editor in chief of The Knot, the nation's leading wedding resource, advises millions of brides on modern wedding etiquette at www.theknot.com.)

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