Film

Hollywood Elsewhere megablogger Jeffrey Wells is one of the first to chime in on whether "The Da Vinci Code" packs the goods to back up its hype. His very brief analysis after having caught the first screening at Cannes is that the film is a disappointment, saying "it's not that good" and it "doesn't lift off the runway." The revelation doesn't much surprise me, but now at least I can lumber into my 10 a.m.

To the surprise of very few, "Poseidon" went down hard this weekend. The disaster remake earned just $22.2 million its opening weekend, meaning prospects of reclaiming that $150 million budget in U.S. box office grosses are about as promising as the Los Angeles Lakers' odds of winning this year's NBA title.

If there's a trend in these first two "summer" box office weekends (the calendar season doesn't start until June 21) it's that no one's in the mood for big, dumb action movies. Duck and cover, "X-Men."

Grizzled critics rarely get excited about seeing a specific new movie. We're such a jaded lot that most hyped-up blockbusters zip by with all the intrigue of a passing stoplight. Getting amped for a new movie for a critic is like a garbage man rubbing his hands in anticipation of the next row of garbage bins, or a crack whore excited for her next... hit of crack.

Yet these five flicks have managed to penetrate my defenses and get me genuinely hyped up. Of course this means these five also all have the greatest chance of letting me down.

Even though I liked "Mission: Impossible III," I can't help but enjoy watching it fail at the box office. Studio estimates say the would-be $150 million-budget blockbuster pulled in only $47.7 million over the weekend.

It was a solid, fun film, but I've just got to face that although I like Tom Cruise as an actor, Tom Cruise the person just annoys me.

From a LucasArts press release:
SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. (May 4, 2006) — Star Warsâ„¢ fans across the galaxy will experience the excitement and adventure of the Star Wars Trilogy as never before on Sept. 12, thanks to the premiere of LEGO® Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy; a new lineup of toys; and an event they’ve been asking to see for years: the DVD debuts of the original versions of the three movies that introduced audiences to the Star Wars saga.

It's impossible to watch Tom Cruise leaping across a broken bridge in "Mission: Impossible III" and not recall his couch-jumping incident. His period of boistrous craziness that began about a year ago lingers into each of his films and takes you away from the moment. You're not seeing Ethan Hunt, you're seeing a starry-eyed, often manic scientologist.

The film is nearly perfect for what it is - director J.J. Abrams avoids the usual threequel plummet by crafting a reasonably fresh, twist-filled explosionfest that's exactly the sort of action flick summer movie audiences are addicted to. It could have been even better without Cruise.

One of the only fates worse than never being able to hit the big time is becoming famous then being cast aside as a nobody. And what's worse than that is having your lack of fame rubbed in by journalists with smarmy writeups. Oh well. If any of these folks are sleeping on your couch or pumping your gas, print up this article to help them out.

1. Leelee Sobieski

Good Times: 2001 was the year of the Leelee. The then 19-year-old busted out in a big way, hitting with an indie comedy ("My First Mister") and two high-profile thrillers, "The Glass House" and "Joy Ride."

Want to bring down a movie critic a couple notches? Mention the box office charts.

The video game adaptation "Silent Hill" slinked to the top of the box office this weekend, pulling in an estimated $20.2 million, knocking out "Scary Movie 4," which held the top spot the weekend before. Neither film was screened for critics, meaning reviews of the flicks were hard to come by. Withholding preview screenings is a practice traditionally reserved for bottom-feeding films that studios know are stinkers. The method avoids the negative attention from vicious advance reviews, but the supposed pitfall was always that savvy audiences would be alarmed by the lack of information about a movie and avoid it altogether. Blockbuster franchises aside, it was always thought that to take the top spot, a film would need that extra boost of positive press.

I can't stand the hand-wringing debate over whether "United 93" is crass exploitation at the expense of national tragedy. The "too soon" complainers have no basis for their argument. Not only have the families of the doomed flight backed the film, but the national climate has long since moved past handling 9/11-haunted themes with kid gloves. Besides, it's not as though Bruce Willis is starring in the thing.

Pleased to meet yas, Internet readers! I'm Philmguy, AKA Phil Villarreal, movie and video game critic for the Arizona Daily Star, and I'll be using this Brainsplainer* to spread my musings, insights and inappropriate comments on movies, DVDs, video games and whatever else. I'll try and keep your mom out of it, but no promises.

Anyways, I've had my job for five years - I lucked into it straight out of college and have fought to keep it ever since. I've got 20 years' experience playing video games, and at least that much time as a movie nut. I know I've seen 3,150 of movies available on Netflix.