philmguy

I was just joking, sorta, last week when I said my list of films that aren't on DVD but should be actually influenced the announcement of the release of "The Wizard." But after great news I got yesterday, I'm starting to reconsider and believe I do actually have some mystical power that makes studios release long forgotten films from my childhood.

The animated masterpiece "The Secret of the Sword" (1985) is due out July 18 as part of the two disc "The Best of She-Ra Princess of Power."

At various times throughout my life I've been something of a word search and crossword puzzle junkie, but I've wisely steered away from sudoku because I knew it would be nothing but bad news for me. I even became a snob about it, and whenever anyone I knew told me about their sudoku addiction, I secretly looked down on them for wasting their time with such silliness.

But the era of my sudoku snobiness has ended; replaced by one of maniacal obsession. Now I stare at the ceiling at night trying to formulate sudoku strategies. I see 9x9 grids wherever I look.

I've never found Orbitz to be worthwhile as a travel site - never has it been able to beat Southwest's prices when I searched for airfare while planning vacations - but you can't beat free. And that's exactly what Orbitz is offering to the winner of a golf course game desdign contest.

The contest is involved with the online-only game Build it and They Will Putt, a golf sim that lets you design your own miniature golf courses and holes, then play them.

It was just last week that I posted a wishlist of neglected classics that haven't yet come out on DVD - by the way, I forgot to include "Suburbia," Richard Linklater's brilliant 1996 comedy about a rock star who returns to his hometown to hang out with his old friends - and Universal responded right after by announcing "The Wizard" will finally be released Aug. 22. You can pre-order it here and thank me later, folks.

Expecting to read my "Clerks II" post? Sorry, I had to take it down because the Weinstein Company didn't like what I had to say and bullied their PR people toward getting me to remove it, citing the unwritten understanding that movie reviewers hold off on posting their opinions of the film until the day before the release date.

Funny, but I doubt this would be the case had I raved about the movie. So why did I take the post off the site? I could say it's an ethical thing, but that's really not the reason. The truth is I'm sort of a wuss, and this isn't a particular battle I wanted to fight. I fear getting shut out of future screenings by the studio, although in retrospect I sort of wish I were banned from seeing "Clerks II."

If you're a movie fan, this is a nice weekend to go fishing, fix the car, maybe play some solitaire on the computer. Anything but waste movie at the multiplex.

Whatever you do, steer away from movie theaters. It's the worst weekend of the summer, with two colossal disappointments opening - "Nacho Libre" and "The Lake House." Lucky for you, I've done the suffering so you won't have to. Check out my reviews,which will be posted early Thursday (6/15) morning.

If studios are so desperate to crank out DVDs that even "Enemy of the State" gets a special edition re-release, I'm wondering why these unappreciated classics fester unreleased.

3. "Saturday Night Live: Season 19, Episode 14 (Feb. 19, 1994) - It's a damn shame that Martin Lawrence's hosting gig on SNL - still the funniest episode ever created - was deemed too vulgar to repeat on network TV, or even on Comedy Central. Martin engages Chris Farley in a prison fight and tells Al Franken's Stuart Smalley what he really thinks of him. I wish this thing could play over and over again on my DVD player instead of the theater of my 15-year-old memory.

I'm pretty excited for the upcoming Wii/GameCube game "The Legend of Zelda: The Twilight Princess." Or at least I was, until I got a glimpse of this disturbing screenshot, which shows Link striking a pose alarmingly similar to Sharon Stone's trademark crotch shot in "Basic Instinct." Here's hoping the programmers give the guy some enchanted underwear before the game comes out at the end of the year.

I'm staring aghast at the 84 percent positive rating for "Cars" on Rotten Tomatoes, wondering if the 21 critics falling all over themselves to blow Pixar saw the same movie I did.

I didn't laugh one time throughout the animated flick, which features Owen Wilson as a hotshot racecar who gets stranded in a hick town, where he learns to be a better person under the tutelage of a trailer trash tow truck (Larry the Cable Guy), a wise old beater (Paul Newman) and a perky love interest (Bonnie Hunt). The story is as cliche as they come, which I'm fine with, so long as the script brings the funny. That doesn't happen, though. You'll get better laughs by stepping into the lobby and taking a look at the ridiculous concession stand prices. This ride is a definite sleepwalk for Pixar, which finally ends its hot streak following a briliant run that started with the "Toy Story" movies and continued on through "Monsters Inc." "Finding Nemo" and "The Incredibles."

The first season of "Deadwood" is the finest TV ever made. The only things that interrupts the constant flow of smacktalk are scenes of people getting shot in the face or bashing each other's heads in. The characters are all such dirty bastards that you can practically smell their rancid, whiskey-drowned breath through the TV speakers. Everyone in the show is adamantly racist, sexist, unkempt and pretty much outright evil. When they tell each other "see you in hell," they really mean it. The dialogue is so rich that the scripts are veritable Cowboy Shakespeare.