By STEVE SPEARS, St. Petersburg Times

Want to know the five scariest words in Hollywood right now?

"You're hosting the Academy Awards."

Allow me to spin a short yarn about bad holiday presents. It was just two years ago on a warm winter's day here in Tampa Bay when a mysterious delivery arrived on the doorstep of my abode.

Decades before he became TV's Dr. Noah Drake and a rock idol in MTV's golden age, he was merely Richard Springthorpe, a suicidal Australian teen who considered himself, as he laments, uglier than a baboon's rump.

Are you ready for a pretty outlandish theory? Michael Douglas is the world's most perfect "gentleman rascal."

The world's most famous ZIP code has returned to television on the CW with the third season of the new "90210." If you haven't been following the remake of the early-'90s teen soap opera, a lot has changed in 20 years, and not just the dropping of "Beverly Hills" from the show's title.

You know what makes "Glee" really sing? It's not the all the Journey songs the cast performs, though that never hurts. It's not the pure molten evil of coach Sue Sylvester, played by the now-Emmy-winning Jane Lynch. It's the guest stars.

Ridgemont High School. Now that was an institution of learning. They had a ringer (Forest Whitaker) on the football team, that stoner Spicoli (Sean Penn) who ordered pizza to class and Mr. Vargas (Vincent Schiavelli), who was a little slow because he just switched to Sanka, so have a heart.

The sing-along version of the beloved 1978 musical "Grease" is playing in select theaters. While we remain hopelessly devoted to Danny and Sandy, here are five other movies that should also be released as sing-alongs:

School's out and the kids are home, giving you blank stares between Wii games and demands for grape soda. You forgot to book a summer camp for your little ankle-biters, didn't you?

We give them our lunch money. Hide from them on the playground. Tolerate the wedgies. But still, America just loves a good bully, especially on TV or in the movies.