By JIM SOUHAN, Minneapolis-St. Paul Star Tribune

He is the basketball version of the Nuclear Football, the doomsday briefcase that accompanies the president everywhere. He is the fire extinguisher encased in glass. He is the Pale Panacea, the solution to all that ails the Minnesota Timberwolves.

FORT MYERS, Fla. -- This spring, Minnesota Twins fans get to regard pitcher Boof Bonser's gut the way Hank Steinbrenner regards "Red Sox Nation" or the way the nation views Roger Clemens' credibility.It's almost as if it doesn't exist.

If you like a good conspiracy theory, you might want to start watching the NBA. The league that once found a way to land Patrick Ewing in New York, Larry Bird and Kevin McHale in Boston and Wilt, Magic and Kareem in Los Angeles is at it again.

Sunday, Minnesota showed how to conduct a big NFL game during a winter storm, with the Metrodome putting a twist on the concept of the snow globe.