By GEOFF CALKINS, Scripps Howard News Service

Who said that coach Lionel Hollins and the Memphis Grizzlies can't stop anyone?

They're on the verge of putting an end to Allen Iverson's basketball career.

After three games with the Grizzlies, Iverson is contemplating retirement for "personal reasons."

One month before Derrick Rose was to enroll at the University of Memphis, he had not yet scored high enough on his standardized test.

He had tried three times. He had failed three times.

Can you imagine the mood in the Memphis basketball offices over this? Can you imagine the mood of head coach John Calipari?

Look at the bright side, Memphis basketball fans. At least your head coach hasn't had two Final Four appearances stripped from the record books.

John Calipari is Kentucky's problem now.

Or should it be Kentucky's punch line?

Q: When is a Final Four appearance not a Final Four appearance?

A: When Calipari is coaching!

Let's go right to the videotape. The videotape of Florida quarterback Tim Tebow fielding the question at the SEC Media Days last week.

Reporter: "Are you saving yourself for marriage?"

Tebow: (laughing) "Yes, I am."

Another reporter: "Tim, being a senior, uh, what would you say ...

Kentucky football coach Rich Brooks practically cackled at the question.
"You guys are trying to narrow it down and get someone to spill their guts, aren't you?"
Well, yeah.
"It isn't me," he said.
Dang.
"Good luck in your search," he said.
Looks like we'll need it.

Be normal. Live life. This is what everyone says you're supposed to do during times like these.
Phil Mickelson is trying.
He normally plays golf for a living. He normally plays the week before a major.
He normally goes to the driving range to hit some balls. He normally smiles and shakes hands with his partners during the pro-am.

Sherrie Daly would like you to know that she did not stab her husband.
She is sitting across the table and telling her version of what happened at the Memphis golf tournament two years ago and it does not include coming at John Daly with a knife.

Go Tigers? Really?
That's what the University of Memphis has to say about Saturday's date with the NCAA in Indianapolis?
"To all Tiger fans, please know that we will represent you well on June 6," wrote the university's lawyer, Sheri Lipman, in a letter to the Board of Visitors and the Board of Trustees. "And go Tigers!"

John Calipari is one of a handful of college basketball coaches to take two different schools to the Final Four.
Before long, he may be the only one to have both of those appearances vacated from the NCAA record books.

I have seen the future of Memphis basketball and I would like to reach out and pinch its cheeks.
Josh Pastner is 31. That's not much older than some Memphis players under John Calipari.
Memphis wanted to make a "wow" hire. This is more of a "coochie coochie coo."
Looks like Memphis has itself a Diaper Dandy.