By BARTON GOLDSMITH, Scripps Howard News Service

If your relationship is in trouble and you want to stay together, you have to take action. Doing more of what works and less of what doesn't is a great place to begin. Here are 10 things that many couples who have endured difficult times and emerged stronger have done.

When you ignore a problem, it doesn't just go away. Oh sure, you may be able to avoid thinking about it for a while. Unfortunately, serious issues always have a way of declaring themselves. If you don't take care of that little problem, it will eventually multiply.

According to the courts, January is the month when most divorces are filed. It may be because the holidays are over or that people want a fresh start at the New Year.

When you've had a significant personal loss, the following 12 months is known as "a year of firsts." Doing 2009 without someone you've loved can be an experience of growth and movement forward, or it can be filled with sorrow, depending on how you choose to deal with it.

It's Christmas!!!
I love Christmas. Yes, I know I'm Jewish, but the magic of the season just works for me. The food, the music, the lights, the smells and people just being nicer to one another. The energy of this time of year fills my soul. Some would say that I should feel guilty or should spend some time with a rabbi or minister, so I can make a choice. But why?

In modern families, it's been said, the person who holds the television remote also holds the power -- not so. The real powerbroker is the one who commands the thermostat.

Long before it took a week's pay to fill your grocery cart or concert tickets sold for thousands, we found simple ways to have fun with the one we love. But when the days get shorter and the temperature drops, going for a hike or hanging out in the back yard is no longer practical. Here are some cold-weather-date ideas for you and your sweetheart that won't cost much.

The Japanese philosophy of kaizen emphasizes that life gets better a little bit at a time. Progress is made in small, seemingly insignificant increments. This outlook can help anyone. It is a tried-and-true way of thinking that can assist those who are dealing with almost any difficulty. It also can be very useful when reaching for a goal.

I love what Erma Bombeck said about Turkey Day: "Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Halftimes take 12 minutes. This is not coincidence." She also said, "On this wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November, no one diets. I mean, why else would we call it Thanksgiving?"